‘Venom: The Last Dance’ review: Half a great, stupid movie

Tom Hardy is a one-man comedy duo who deserves better than Venom: The Last Dance. The English actor has played a variety of tough guys, from gangsters (Legend) and supervillains (The Dark Knight Rises) to the ultimate road warrior (Mad Max: Fury Road). But he might be at his very best as the oft-frustrated journalist Eddie Brock and his alien symbiote Venom, who is basically intrusive thoughts in the form of a goo demon. And for three movies (more if you count post-cred cameos), Hardy has been fighting valiantly for the love story that is Eddie and Venom’s.

From Venom to its sequel Venom: Let There Be Carnage, Sony embraced what jaw-dropped audiences warmed to in the first film, which was chiefly the undeniable chemistry between Hardy and… himself. Sure, one was bolstered by explosively slick and sick CGI to make the alien come alive. But Hardy, grumbling excitedly as an alien ready to rage (in both the vengeance and party senses), was unabashedly entertaining. Now, in the third entry, Venom: The Last Dance, Hardy’s anti-heroes are in an all-out war — not just against a canonical bigger bad but against the franchise requirements that weigh this sequel down. 

It’s clear Sony still can’t decide what to do with their Spider-verse, and more specifically its flashiest non-Spidey star. (Sorry, not sorry, Madame Web and Morbius!) 

Venom: The Last Dance has way too many plotlines. 

Following the events of Venom: Let There Be Carnage, Eddie/Venom (Hardy) are on the run as they are wanted in the death of Detective Patrick Mulligan (Stephen Graham). After grabbing drinks at a bar in Mexico (yes, calling back to the post-credit scene with Ted Lasso‘s Cristo Fernández), the dastardly duo decides to road trip to New York City, where Eddie plans to blackmail a judge to clear his name. It’s a perfect plan, obviously, and a great setup for on-the-road hijinks. Excellent! However, then the MCU effect kicks in. 

While Eddie/Venom are making their way out of Mexico, a new cranky villain lurks in a dark otherworld, surrounded by giant insect monsters with many, many teeth. This is Knull (played by Let There Be Carnage director Andy Serkis), a scary ancient evil thing who wants a never-before-mentioned MacGuffin that Eddie/Venom happen to have. So while they’re on the run from the cops, the pair must duck the stalking monster and the US military forces out to imprison them at Area 51.

As if all that weren’t enough plot, Venom: The Last Dance also works in a tragic backstory for a traumatized scientist, Dr. Teddy Payne (Ted Lasso‘s Juno Temple), and a daffy family of van-living hippies who really want a close encounter with an alien. (Good news for them!) All of this combined makes for a rollercoaster of a movie, with heady highs of bonkers Looney-Tunes-like action and comic book spectacle, and frustrating lows made up of cumbersome exposition scenes.

The screenplay by writer/director Kelly Marcel, who wrote Venom: Let There Be Carnage, has enthrallingly funny moments. But it ties itself into knots setting up Knull and Payne, who will clearly have bigger roles to play as the franchise barrels on. (Last dance, my foot!) Marcel sacrifices the zany exuberance and propulsive spontaneity of Hardy’s performance by frequently abandoning him for gratuitous exposition dumps. All of Knull’s scenes look the same, playing like a dimly lit teaser for a video game. The gray-haired villain is bound to a throne, grumbling threats with his head hung, over and over with no build in tension or information. And if you can’t piece together what he’s up to from his muttering, don’t worry because Venom will explain it, as will another symbiote and several other human characters. As if “creepy alien aims for world-shattering conquest” is a new concept in superhero movies. 

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When Venom: The Last Dance embraces Tom Hardy’s vision, it is glorious. 

While the Venom of the comics and the video games can be a gnarly horror, Hardy’s spin on the character is far more charismatic. As we saw in the rave sequence of Venom: Let There Be Carnage, the lobster tank in Venom, and various scenes in Last Dance, this Venom is like a pesky little brother, fueled by chocolate, blood lust, and roaring impulses. Venom: The Last Dance is at its very best in these moments of chaotic inner conflict. 

For instance, a drunken Eddie can barely stand, but Venom wants one more drink. So not only does he roar “TEQUILA!” with the enthusiasm of a frat boy on his 21st birthday, but his shiny black tentacles explode from Eddie’s back to give his own spin on Tom Cruise’s Cocktail agility. It’s a mess, and it’s uproariously hilarious. Other sequences that relish this playful mayhem involve a stolen horse, stowing away on an airplane from the outside, and a joyful dance number with Venom’s beloved Mrs. Chen (the divine Peggy Lu) to the music of ABBA. (Of course, Venom is an ABBA fan.) 

It’s not just that Venom gets to be the chaos demon we love to live through vicariously. It’s that Hardy playing Eddie is his perfectly matched straight man. Whether facing the indignity of losing a shoe, getting peed on by a drunk stranger, or making things awkward while warning off a could-be foe, Hardy grimaces, grins, and huffs with supreme comedic timing. As Eddie and Venom, Hardy is both Abbott and Costello, Lemmon and Matthau, Martin and Lewis. And as outrageous as everything around him is, he’s even able to ground more heartfelt moments of bonding because it’s impossible not to root for them, the oddest couple. 

Venom: The Last Dance delivers plenty of action, graphic and goofy. 

Though rated PG-13, this Venom movie is pretty wildly violent. It starts off strong, giving Venom the chance to chow down on the heads of bad guys. Later, several humans will be put into the organic extraterrestrial version of a woodchipper, resulting in mists of blood. And as other symbiotes and alien beasties come out to play, all bets are off as the violence gets more comic, full of explosions, slithering limbs, and variously colored viscera. 

Fans of Venom’s lore will likely thrill over a climax that has all kinds of symbiote variants joining the fray. (Think Deadpool and Wolverine‘s climax with much more slime and less swearing.) And yet the most thrilling action moments are during a chase scene that’s far less about violence than it is Venom leaping from one river-living critter to another to escape the clutches of the military. Venom as a fish! Venom as a frog! Venom making Eddie — ever so briefly — into a merman! These seem like Marcel pitches that could have been killed off by studio notes, and yet here they are — madly entertaining, absolutely ridiculous, and all the more miraculous because of it. 

In the end, this makes for a movie that, like its predecessors, is a mess. Where Eddie and Venom have largely come to terms with being two very different personalities sharing the same vessel, Venom: The Last Dance feels at war with itself. On one hand, it is a silly road trip comedy enhanced by the shapeshifting silliness of its eponymous alien goofball. On the other hand, it’s a straight-faced sci-fi drama about alien invasion. The former is kinetic, surprising, and uniquely thrilling as it collides genre expectations with a no-fucks-given energy. The latter — despite noble efforts from Temple, Chiwetel Ejiofor as a military leader, and Clark Backo as a spirited symbiote ally — is a slog, dragged down by cumbersome drama, stern speeches, and an aching lack of Venom. 

Venom: The Last Dance is therefore one-half of a wonderful movie. Still, it’s worth sticking through the rest for a totally gonzo finale that’s somehow equally absurd and moving. 

Venom: The Last Dance opens exclusively in theaters Oct. 25.