A24 is selling chocolate now. But what would their movies actually taste like?

Production company A24 has brought us incredible films, from this year’s Love Lies Bleeding and The Brutalist to past Best Picture winners like Moonlight and Everything Everywhere All at Once. Now, they’re delivering another treat: themed chocolate bars.

A24’s Movie Chocolate is a collection of three milk chocolate candy bars, each themed around various concessions. The Fizzy Fountain Soda bar pairs root beer and popping candies, the Popcorn & Candy bar features popcorn and chocolate-covered candies, and the Salty Peanut Crunch bar combines the timeless duo of peanuts and caramel.

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The private-label chocolate is currently available to purchase through the website moviechocolate.co, as well as through A24’s online shop. Each bar retails for $5, with the Triple Feature gift set of six bars costing $33. Bars will also be coming soon to select AMC Theaters, where they’ll cost $5.99 plus tax.

While these bars nod to classic movie theater concessions, we couldn’t help but wonder what an A24 movie-themed chocolate bar collection would look like. How would Heretic taste? Would The Witch fulfill its promises of living deliciously? So here, without further ado, are our pitches for 12 additional A24 chocolate bars, as varied and strange as the company’s many offerings.

Everything Everywhere All at Once

Stephanie Hsu in

Stephanie Hsu in “Everything Everywhere All at Once.”
Credit: A24

The ultimate nihilistic treat, this everything bagel chocolate bar is inspired by Stephanie Hsu’s Jobu Tupaki. We’re talking a bar filled with poppy seeds, sesame seeds, and kosher salt — we might skip the garlic and onion flakes. When you really put everything on a bagel, then on a chocolate bar, it becomes this. The truth. Nothing matters. — Shannon Connellan, UK Editor

Heretic

Hugh Grant in

Hugh Grant in “Heretic.”
Credit: A24

Mr. Reed’s (Hugh Grant) terrifying blueberry pie-scented candle prompted special scented Heretic screenings. So how about we translate that experience to a chocolate bar next? Blueberry clusters give this dark chocolate a juicy pop, but a smoky aftertaste will leave you questioning your reality. But on the bright side, maybe if we give some of this to Mr. Reed, he’ll let us out of his house of horrors? Please? — Belen Edwards, Entertainment Reporter

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I Saw the TV Glow

Mr. Sprinkly's ice cream truck in "I Saw the TV Glow."

Mr. Sprinkly’s ice cream truck in “I Saw the TV Glow.”
Credit: A24

We had to go with ruby chocolate for our I Saw the TV Glow-flavored bar, which pays tribute to the Buffy-esque series The Pink Opaque. Appropriately pink, and covered in sprinkles as a nod to the nightmarish Mr. Sprinkly, we can promise that this chocolate will taste exactly the same now as it will decades down the line. — B.E.

Mashable Top Stories

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Aftersun

Frankie Corio and Paul Mescal in

Frankie Corio and Paul Mescal in “Aftersun.”
Credit: A24

Flash back to Paul Mescal and Frankie Corio’s heartbreaking Turkish vacation with this Aftersun-flavored chocolate. Peppered with mini chunks of Turkish delight, this bar is sure to make you ponder your relationship with your father. Eat while listening to “Under Pressure” for the full effect. — B.E.

Midsommar

Florence Pugh in

Florence Pugh in “Midsommar.”
Credit: A24

No, there’s no bear meat in our Midsommar chocolate. Instead, this beer-infused bar encourages you to celebrate the midsummer festival, with dried edible flowers sprinkled on top evoking everyone’s majestic flower crowns. Don’t worry; there definitely aren’t any hallucinogens in this chocolate. Nothing suspicious at all. — B.E.

The Witch

Wouldst thou like to live deliciously… by sinking your teeth into this The Witch bar? In the spirit of Black Philip, we’ve thrown dark chocolate and butter together, because we wouldst like the taste of butter very much, thank you. — B.E.

Babygirl

Nicole Kidman in

Nicole Kidman in “Babygirl.”
Credit: A24

We’ve still got a bit of time before Halina Reijn’s erotic thriller Babygirl comes out, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fantasize (wink) about what it might taste like. From the trailer alone, we know that milk and cookies play key roles in Nicole Kidman and Harris Dickinson’s BDSM courtship, so how about we make a milk chocolate bar studded with decadent cookie crumbles? Lap it up. — B.E.

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Moonlight

The dinner Kevin (André Holland) makes Chiron (Trevante Rhodes) in the final act of Moonlight is one of the best food scenes put to film, so of course we have to pay homage to it in our Moonlight bar. In honor of Kevin’s pollo a la plancha, this bar features hints of lime and cilantro. I don’t care if that’s polarizing — it’s movie-accurate! — B.E.

The X trilogy

Mia Goth in

Mia Goth in “MaXXXine.”
Credit: A24

How do you sum up Ti West’s genre-bending X trilogy in one tiny bar of chocolate? By splitting it into three parts, of course! One dark chocolate, one white chocolate, and one milk chocolate. Sample at will, or eat all three at once to experience three very different eras of horror — er, I mean types of chocolate. — B.E.

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We Live in Time

Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh in

Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh in “We Live in Time.”
Credit: A24

You’re going to need this experimental haute cuisine-inspired bar to get through We Live In Time. Inspired by the “Douglas fir parfait” Florence Pugh’s chef Almut feeds to Andrew Garfield’s Tobias, this bar is a pine emulsion-infused innovation. It’s salty as hell, from the avalanche of tears we poured while watching this film. — S.C.

SEE ALSO:

Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield on how food is used as a form of intimacy in ‘We Live in Time’

All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt

Sheila Atim in

Sheila Atim in “All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt.”
Credit: A24

If you have the word “taste” in your movie title, we’re going to theme a chocolate bar around it. That’s the case for Raven Jackson’s moving directorial debut All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt. The title gives us one key ingredient already with salt, but we’ll toss in flecks of edible clay to pay tribute to the film’s focus on the tradition of eating clay dirt, and how it moves from generation to generation. — B.E.

Uncut Gems

Adam Sandler in

Adam Sandler in “Uncut Gems.”
Credit: A24

This Uncut Gems confection is nothing short of a panic attack in a chocolate bar. Like A24’s Fizzy Fountain Soda chocolate, this sweet is chock-full of popping candy — enough to make you feel like your mouth is going to explode and all your gambling plans are going to fall apart. Plus, Pop Rocks look like gems if you squint, right? — B.E.

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